I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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