I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
