ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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