I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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