I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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