apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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