so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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