your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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