my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Randomize