guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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