So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize