They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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