how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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