THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
