So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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