what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
there is glitter all over my balls
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