Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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