Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize