I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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