I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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