Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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