Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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