Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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