I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize