good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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