i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dignity is for republicans.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize