well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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