I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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