We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The air was thick with penises
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize