what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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