I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize