There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
