Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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