so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize