the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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