Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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