dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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