Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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