we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
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Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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