So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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