Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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