My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize