found the other keg... it's in the tree
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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