it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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