Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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