Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize