I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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