omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize