i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize