I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize