And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize