ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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